This Year’s Most Exciting Summer Party is Coming…July 14, 2013
And now, Knuckle Dragger Magazine and Thick as Thieves Fight Gear are throwing this year’s biggest and most important party in Pittsburgh.
It’s been said by event planning professionals, stock market analysts, and the guy that hangs out on Route 28 that this party will “outpopular” the Steelers, Penguins, and chipped ham for the next 3 months.
If you want to rub shoulders with today’s most influential publishers and t-shirt makers in the world, and possibly the universe, then you’ll have to get in line, because the demand is so high that there’s a waiting list for the waiting list.
“We recently had to turn down Robert Deniro, Jay-Z, Beyonce, and the guy who owns that frozen ice cart down in the North Side,” said Rodney Burrell, Editor-in-Chief of Knuckle Dragger Magazine.
Burrell added, “When you get this much win in a room, big things happen. If people are lucky, I might sign a few autographs and give out a pair of my old socks. This is truly a win for the City of Pittsburgh.”
If you’re lucky enough to get a ticket, we ask that you not sell them on eBay for ludicrous amounts of money. It’s a small price to pay for fame and untold riches…We think Warren Buffet is coming to hand out 1,000 dollars bills. So, when is this party that you’ll probably hear about for the rest of the year? August 2nd, at CAVO. VIP Thick as Thieves fashion show and live music from 8-10pm and 10pm-2am is well, the most significant historical gathering of 30(ish) adults on the east coast.
General Admission is $15.00, or if you have a tendency to make it rain, wear lots of silk, or drive a 95-01 luxury car, check with us for VIP pricing and bottle specials.
T-Shirt giveaways courtesy of Thick as Thieves Fight Gear, and the launching of the Knuckle Dragger/Thick as Thieves T-shirt “Warlords” (Guaranteed to get you more women) or at least girls will look at your shirt.
- DJ Nugget is set to light it up for your listening pleasure.
- Special performances, appearances, and other fun stuff that’s too secret to write about.
- LADIES! Dress to impress…Us mainly. We would like to see your sexy.
- GUYS. Try not look like you just rolled out of bed. And no beer muscles, we’ll have a bunch of pro fighters there that would probably just embarrass you anyway.
To purchase tickets, email the 5,000,789,890 Richest man in the world, and our COO, Scott Betten. firstname.lastname@example.org