This Life-Sized Iron HulkBuster Statue Won’t Get You Laid. But It’s Still Awesome.

So, you’re a nerd, and you happen to make alot of money. First off, Congratulations. As if the world’s axis has shifted from pimply-faced pubescent torture at the hands of the football captain, you now sit at the throne of an empire, making widgets and programming code.

Money is pouring in faster than you can spend it on new comics. You need an action plan.

In comes this life-sized statue of The Iron Man Hulkbuster costume from the new “Avengers: Age of Ultron” movie. For only 20k, you can own an inanimate object that not only cements your nerdiness in the annuls of virgins everywhere, but you’ll have something that each and every one of your other nerdy friends will covet.

Unfortunately, the simple fact that you’re entertaining the possibility of buying a 10-foot-tall superhero lends to the realization that you won’t be dating anytime soon.

It’s ok, KD loves you the way you are. Nerdy, rich, and completely oblivious the social cues that entice women to show you pictures of them in their undies.

Back to the porn lab.