Things You Should Never Do Unless You’re a Millionaire

The rich have something us normal guys don’t, the ability to live outside of the realm of reality.

They wear what they want, go where the choose, and say whatever comes to their mind. Why? Because they’re set. They operate on a different level of I don’t give a crap.

However, we do not, so these are a few of the things men should never do unless they have a substantial bank account to offset the ridicule they would get as a result of not following our sound advice.

1. Getting an Armband Tattoo: Guess who made this popular? The Backstreet Boys, enough said.

2. Blowing out Your Hair: Another apparition of the rich and famous, brought to popularity buy one of the chimps of Jersey Shore,  Paulie D.

3. Wearing Skinny Jeans: Justin Bieber, Lil Wayne, and a slew of other pint-sized millionaires wear skinny jeans in some type of fashion statement against letting your junk breathe.

4. Tucking in Your T-Shirt: I would imagine the only acceptable proponent of this offense would be  Chuck Norris or Jean-Claude  van Damme. Otherwise, untuck and roll out.

5. Wearing Sunglasses Indoors: Unless your eyes shoot lasers when you remove them, leave ’em in the car.

6. Wearing The Big Watch: We all know they’re not real diamonds, ass.

7. Wearing Tight clothes: We understand you go to the gym so you can wear that extra medium  shirt you just bought from baby gap, but just go one size up, Turbo. Mankind will thank you for not having to view your nipples getting hard.

8. Wearing Affliction T-Shirts: It’s over, just move on.

9. Walking around with a big-ass cigar in your mouth: You’re not a whale, high-roller, or Mafia Kingpin. It looks like you have a huge wee wee dangling from your lips. Not a good look for a man. However, lots of money helps people look past your inability to recognize how stupid you look.