Ten Things You Can Say to Get Rid of A Stripper

Who doesn’t love a good stripper now and again? The gin soaked stench of failure and Marlboro lights just makes strips clubs a place that you want to sit down and have a stimulating conversation with someone who gets paid to wobble her naughty bits for you.

But what if you’re just there for the show, and not a life story of how they’re working themselves through school, all the while working you for a sexy time lap dance that will most likely cost half of your rent?

Well, the minds at KD have come up with ten things you can say to send those stripper heels fumbling on to the next “single” guy with a visible tan line on his…um, ring finger.

1. I want to read you this passage from the Bible

2. What’s the food special tonight?

3. What time do the male strippers come out?

4. The dentist said my new teeth will be in tomorrow

5. Is there a change machine here?

6. You look like my mother

7. Do you like R.Kelly?

8. You would look great in my basement

9. My mom only gave me 15 dollars, can I get a lap dance.

10. Don’t worry, that’s just my erection

That’s it fellas, use at your own risk. We can’t be held responsible for angry bouncers, or strippers throwing drinks on you. And remember, strippers are people too, kind of.