Packing a Smaller Gun? Here’s How to Rock it so She Won’t Forget It.

leanneclutesextipsThis week I posed the question to my girlfriends on various group chats: What do you think about a guy with a smaller dick?

My diverse group of female friends contains every race combination available, so I figured this would give me a reasonable pool of answers. From an anthropological perspective, the size of both the penis and the vagina are *mostly* correlated to race. I say *mostly* because there are a number of genetic, health, and environmental factors that can play a role in this as well. Either way, with their diverse perspectives on the word “small”, I knew they could provide some usable opinions.

I was met with a variety of answers, from women who said a smaller penis is “entirely worthless” to those that agreed it’s about how you use it, to a handful that said they actually prefer it.

Based on research performed by Richard Herring, author of Talking Cock, the average size of the penis is 6.73”. Men who are at the lower end of the spectrum – 3.3” in length to this point – are considered smaller. As I thought back over the years, I realized that for myself, there have only been a few men that fell into this category.

When I turned the conversation to the guys, I learned that obsessing over the size of their penis is relatively common. In fact, several men even told me that they think their smaller-average size has to do with their lack of love. Herring’s research revealed that 63% of women agree that size is a factor in the quality of love making; but what if it’s not so much about the size, but how you use it?

I’ve always been a firm believer that the motion of the ocean is what ultimately matters. The problem is that many sex tips out there are geared towards “every” male when each and every one of you is different. Knowing how to rock it when you’re packing a smaller gun is the secret to keeping her coming back for more. In the bedroom, you should have enough confidence to take control of how her body is positioned, and the moves you try, to maximize pleasure for both of you. These tips are easy to execute and provide the right twist to accommodate your wood for every woman.

Photo Jan 23, 10 05 54 PMSplit the Legs and Rock

Perhaps one of the most underutilized sex positions for all men is the classic leg split. You get a nice look at her whole body with this move, while also putting you in a position to go deeper and hit at a different angle. To execute the leg split, you will have your lady-friend on her back and straddle one of her upper thighs. Lift the opposite leg up over your shoulder and cozy on in to her naughty bits. This position is gentle on the knees as well because you can both rock into the motion for a slow building orgasm. The sideways angle which your penis enters the vagina creates a unique sensation that is missed with most other positions. It also makes your smaller member feel larger inside her and increases overall pleasure.

Take Doggie Style Over the Edge

One go-to move for most men, especially those with smaller dicks, is doggie style because it is one position that offers better depth. However, traditional doggy style doesn’t give you quite the angle that you want to make her remember a night with you. Two simple changes should be made to maximize this position. First, have her bring her legs together in between yours. This creates a tighter space for your cock. Second, have her brace herself over the edge of a pile of pillows or the side of a sofa. Women often move into a downward dog style when enjoying this position – where her ass is in the air and her face is buried into the bed. This creates a deeper angle which isn’t beneficial when you are smaller. The positioning over the edge will keep her back flat and give you direct access to hitting her sweet spot with ease.

Curl Up and Go Deep

Appropriate access to the vagina is crucial when it comes to adding the wow factor in the bedroom when you are lthe-snail leanne r cluteess endowed. The snail is a sex position where the woman is curled back in a way that gives the deepest penetration possible. Not so great news for men who are well above average as this move can be extremely painful for a woman. GREAT new for those who think they are less fortunate. Start by placing her legs straight up in the air with her ankles resting on your shoulder. You will need to place your hands on her butt and hold her up for support as you enter. Next, have her bend her knees, keeping her legs together, and roll her body back towards her face. Almost like she is trying to touch her nose to her knees. And go to town. You’ll be able to brace yourself on either side of her once you are in the full position. The deep penetration will make her gasp while easily letting you hit her various pleasure zones. Go above and beyond by adding some breast play into this position, if you really want to rock her world.

Herring’s research also revealed that only 25% of women believe that penis size is a reason to end a relationship. Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the leading causes of relationships ending today – regardless of the size of your cock. Learning how to use your own parts, work with hers, and cater to both of your needs and desires is what makes a happy, healthy sex life.

Don’t worry, it’s not like you have to figure it out on your own. That’s why you have me.

Until next time, I’ve taken up a new hobby of getting drunk and woodburning bottle openers. Check it out on Instagram @XoXoLeanneC and follow @KDMagazine for more.


Got a question you’re dying to have answered? Email me directly:

New Ways to Touch Her Down There

What is your go-to move for getting things started with your lady?

For many men, it’s to not-so-casually reach between her legs and start moving their fingers around.

This is the start of foreplay – an essential part of female arousal.

The problem comes when you have been with someone for a few months or years and you have figured out all of the go-to spots for getting her primed and ready for sex. According to Marianne Brandon Ph.D, author of Monogamy: The Untold Story, you start to put in less effort than you once did and your sex life becomes mundane. In fact, one of my closest friends commented on this recently. After nearly two years together, sex has gotten boring. In her own words “He gets me off quick and we got to bed. It’s boring and become routine.”

When sex becomes routine, it loses its ability to connect you with your partner and strengthen your relationship. For couples that believe sexual compatibility is important, this can lead to the end of a relationship. It doesn’t take much effort on your part to change things up, you simply need to adjust your approach to pleasuring your partner. Here are four tips for new ways to touch her, down there.

Discover the Clitoral Hood

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard of the hit Netflix series Orange is the New Black. This show got everyone on screen and off screen talking about the clitoral hood. This piece of skin is an extension of the inner labia lips. When a woman becomes aroused, it retracts, exposing the clitoris. Until that point happens, this little flap of skin has its own nerve endings for you to play with. Drag your finger up from the vaginal opening towards the clitoris and feel for the flap. Slowly begin massaging it with your thumb or index finger. This feel-good spot will deliver new sensations to her that she probably hasn’t experienced before.

masaje-sensualMassage Her Nether Region

Men are often so focused on clitoral stimulation that they forget how sensitive a woman’s skin is down there. I’m not just talking about the labia. Women respond to massaging and touching in all parts of her nether region – the inner thighs, mons pubis, buttocks and even that skin that exists before the anus. Touch Me There author Yvonne Fulbright Ph.D suggests applying medium pressure with your palm while you massage the entire area. Dragging your fingers slowly along the inside of her thighs and the edge of her labia is a sure fire way to slowly generate arousal before you ever touch the clitoris or the vagina.

Use Your Fingers & Thumb

One of the biggest mistakes men make when using their hands to pleasure a woman is trying to do too much. Remember that the vagina is not designed to fit around your three middle fingers. It is also not designed for you to ramming them in feverishly without causing her some sort of discomfort. Change it up by using just your middle and index fingers, slowly moving them in and out while applying pressure on the top of the vaginal cavity. This move ensures you are reaching for the rough patch of skin located there known as the g-spot. Then, take your thumb of the same hand and start massaging the clitoris while you are working your two fingers inside of her. The pressure of the two erogenous zones is enough to get her slicked up quick and most likely get her off.

Bonus: Your other hand and mouth are freed up to caress, touch and kiss her other places!

Let Her Start it Off

masturabte-self-loveHave you ever let her get started and watched? Men are often too afraid to ask for this and women are too nervous to suggest it, but both of you can benefit from doing it. First, by letting her pleasure herself in front you, you get a good look at what really gets her off. Second, it’s visual stimulation for your own arousal. She benefits by feeling sexy and desired by you. Plus, women note that when they are being watched, they feel more aroused than usual. When you are ready, you can join in the fun and she is already primed and most of the way there which means less work on your part.

But don’t worry, you’ll both be so turned on by the act that you’ll be ready to dive right into to getting down and dirty.

It is far too easy for an unsatisfying sex life to drive a wedge between two people who are otherwise perfectly compatible. If you sense that you and your partner are starting to drift apart in the bedroom, or just want to try something new, give some of these techniques a try to breathe life back into your foreplay.

Until next time,


Sexcessorizing Made Easy – Try Getting Busy With These Fitness Tools

A few months ago I had this insane idea that I was going to start Bob Harper’s BlackFire fitness routine on I was ridiculously excited over this high-intensity workout program. That was, of course, until 15-minutes of fast-paced burpees and mountain climbers later when I remembered that chain smokers have better lung function than I do. Nothing makes you realize you are not a superhero like being under 30 and on the brink of C.O.P.D for no other reason than you got dealt a crappy genetic card in utero that gave you really crappy lungs.

I hate being told what to do. So I was determined to press on. So determined that I hopped onto Amazon and bought the $70 Plyometric Box that was needed for the routine. A few days later, it arrived at my door. Unassembled. Much to my disappointment.

One hour of a 90s Hip Hop dance party and a lot of swearing and wishing I had power tools later, I had it assembled. Proud of myself, I posted a picture on Instagram with the caption “Now to remember this is for fitness. Not dancing and other things.”

A few hours after immortalizing this reminder on the World Wide Web, I was busy getting busy with my lunch-date on the plyo box. Turns out, this isn’t the only piece of fitness equipment that can double as a sexcessory.

Yoga Block

sex tips for men sex with yoga blockYoga blocks are used during your practice to help you get into a pose that you might not be limber or long enough to achieve on your own. Several of the warrior poses rely on these blocks to help the person adequately reach the floor by bringing it close to them by a few inches. These blocks are made of a dense foam and have rounded edges which make them perfect for lifting the butt during sex.

Simply place one block under the tailbone of your girl while she is lying on her back. The angle will be enough that all the blood doesn’t go rushing to her head and that you can enjoy deeper penetration. Think of it like an aid to the traditional legs-on-shoulders types of positions. Because the foam is soft, it will be comfortable for her as you are thrusting. The few inches and change in angle make a dramatic difference because it changes the angle of the vagina as you are entering it – making it more intense for both of you.

Foam Roller

If you don’t own a foam roller, you should get online and order one RIGHT NOW. I think this is the best fitness tool imaginable. It’s a true saving grace after long-run day and leg-day. Just rolling your muscles along it can relieve serious amounts of tension and pain that you feel after a workout. It’s like having a deep tissue massage without having to pay the hefty price of it.

Of course, you can work out other forms of tension with your partner with this unit, as well.

There are two positions which I highly recommend using this for. For the first, have your partner assume a position on all fours with her shins resting on the top of the foam roller. She will probably find it more comfortable on her arms/shoulders to rest her forearms on the floor, similar to how you would in plank position. Enter from behind – doggy style – and you’ll enjoy having deeper penetration, the perfect height, and the ability to let the roller do the work of moving her behind in and out instead of putting all the pressure on your own knees and hips.

The second option for the foam roller is a twist on any girl-on-top position. It is no secret that these positions allow for the deepest penetration. Maximum depth is hard to achieve because most surfaces do not allow enough “clearance space” for a woman to really get deep on top of you. Lay on top of the foam roller so that it supports your head-neck-back-bum. Have her straddle you in the traditional girl-on-top manner. With your body lifted, it will be easier for her to get the maximum penetration from the position because her legs have the necessary clearance space between the top of you and the floor. Pretty much any variation of girl-on-top is enhanced with this tool.

Stability Ball

sex tips for men fitness ballA stability ball gives a little bounce to any sexual position. But this is really a great tool for better oral sex. There is this position often referred to as the Rushing Waterfall where the person who is receiving has their head lower than their body, causing the blood to flow heavier in their head and therefore enhancing the feel of an orgasm. Now, when I have seen mention of this position, it always has the person hanging off the side of a bed. Let’s be honest, that is a bit crazy. You’re trying to enhance your pleasure, not pass out.

The ball gives you a nice middle ground. Either person can lie across the ball on their back during oral sex. The head will fall just a little to the other side of the ball to increase blood flow without making their head spin.

Plyo Box

I still haven’t used the plyo box for fitness, but let me tell you, there are some benefits to using it for sex. First, it makes another form of an elevated platform for deeper penetration. My personal favorite being the seated reverse cowgirl position. For this, sit on top of the box and have your partner straddle you with her back facing you. The boxes are wide enough that she should be able to wrap her legs around the back of you and use your knees to stabilize her body while she rides you. Of course, you should probably hold on to her as well – just to be safe.

When she is sitting on the box, it is the perfect height for you to receive oral pleasure without putting all that pressure on her knees. You can also use it for standing positions, depending on the box height. She can stand on it to give you direct access to her hoohaa without risk of you breaking your dick trying to thrust and hold her at the same time. Lastly, you can get a better angle to orally pleasure her when she stands on the box.

What I’m saying, guys, is that there is a use for some of that fitness equipment collecting dust in your spare bedroom. And sexcessorizing your life doesn’t have to break the bank. Work with what you got!

Until next time, don’t forget to follow KD Magazine (@KDMagazine) and myself (@XOXOLeanneC) on Instagram!