Packing a Smaller Gun? Here’s How to Rock it so She Won’t Forget It.

leanneclutesextipsThis week I posed the question to my girlfriends on various group chats: What do you think about a guy with a smaller dick?

My diverse group of female friends contains every race combination available, so I figured this would give me a reasonable pool of answers. From an anthropological perspective, the size of both the penis and the vagina are *mostly* correlated to race. I say *mostly* because there are a number of genetic, health, and environmental factors that can play a role in this as well. Either way, with their diverse perspectives on the word “small”, I knew they could provide some usable opinions.

I was met with a variety of answers, from women who said a smaller penis is “entirely worthless” to those that agreed it’s about how you use it, to a handful that said they actually prefer it.

Based on research performed by Richard Herring, author of Talking Cock, the average size of the penis is 6.73”. Men who are at the lower end of the spectrum – 3.3” in length to this point – are considered smaller. As I thought back over the years, I realized that for myself, there have only been a few men that fell into this category.

When I turned the conversation to the guys, I learned that obsessing over the size of their penis is relatively common. In fact, several men even told me that they think their smaller-average size has to do with their lack of love. Herring’s research revealed that 63% of women agree that size is a factor in the quality of love making; but what if it’s not so much about the size, but how you use it?

I’ve always been a firm believer that the motion of the ocean is what ultimately matters. The problem is that many sex tips out there are geared towards “every” male when each and every one of you is different. Knowing how to rock it when you’re packing a smaller gun is the secret to keeping her coming back for more. In the bedroom, you should have enough confidence to take control of how her body is positioned, and the moves you try, to maximize pleasure for both of you. These tips are easy to execute and provide the right twist to accommodate your wood for every woman.

Photo Jan 23, 10 05 54 PMSplit the Legs and Rock

Perhaps one of the most underutilized sex positions for all men is the classic leg split. You get a nice look at her whole body with this move, while also putting you in a position to go deeper and hit at a different angle. To execute the leg split, you will have your lady-friend on her back and straddle one of her upper thighs. Lift the opposite leg up over your shoulder and cozy on in to her naughty bits. This position is gentle on the knees as well because you can both rock into the motion for a slow building orgasm. The sideways angle which your penis enters the vagina creates a unique sensation that is missed with most other positions. It also makes your smaller member feel larger inside her and increases overall pleasure.

Take Doggie Style Over the Edge

One go-to move for most men, especially those with smaller dicks, is doggie style because it is one position that offers better depth. However, traditional doggy style doesn’t give you quite the angle that you want to make her remember a night with you. Two simple changes should be made to maximize this position. First, have her bring her legs together in between yours. This creates a tighter space for your cock. Second, have her brace herself over the edge of a pile of pillows or the side of a sofa. Women often move into a downward dog style when enjoying this position – where her ass is in the air and her face is buried into the bed. This creates a deeper angle which isn’t beneficial when you are smaller. The positioning over the edge will keep her back flat and give you direct access to hitting her sweet spot with ease.

Curl Up and Go Deep

Appropriate access to the vagina is crucial when it comes to adding the wow factor in the bedroom when you are lthe-snail leanne r cluteess endowed. The snail is a sex position where the woman is curled back in a way that gives the deepest penetration possible. Not so great news for men who are well above average as this move can be extremely painful for a woman. GREAT new for those who think they are less fortunate. Start by placing her legs straight up in the air with her ankles resting on your shoulder. You will need to place your hands on her butt and hold her up for support as you enter. Next, have her bend her knees, keeping her legs together, and roll her body back towards her face. Almost like she is trying to touch her nose to her knees. And go to town. You’ll be able to brace yourself on either side of her once you are in the full position. The deep penetration will make her gasp while easily letting you hit her various pleasure zones. Go above and beyond by adding some breast play into this position, if you really want to rock her world.

Herring’s research also revealed that only 25% of women believe that penis size is a reason to end a relationship. Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the leading causes of relationships ending today – regardless of the size of your cock. Learning how to use your own parts, work with hers, and cater to both of your needs and desires is what makes a happy, healthy sex life.

Don’t worry, it’s not like you have to figure it out on your own. That’s why you have me.

Until next time, I’ve taken up a new hobby of getting drunk and woodburning bottle openers. Check it out on Instagram @XoXoLeanneC and follow @KDMagazine for more.


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Forget Everything You Think You Know About Sexual Fantasies

The psychology behind sexual fantasies has become a study point for me in recent years. I find it interesting to see the different roles that people play in their personal and professional lives. From powerful men who beg to be dominated in the bedroom to the thriving world of role-playing and costume-fetish-play; there is a niche for every interest.

sexual-fantasies-studyFor decades, people were afraid to admit that they even thought about some of their deepest darkest desires, but that has all changed. Today, we live in a sexually progressive society where every type of desire can be catered to, without judgement. Despite this, men and women struggle to find ways to talk about their fantasies when in a relationship.

Frankly, I like to cut right to the chase. Typically I ask questions about sexual fantasies long before things ever progress to a second or third date. Being sexually progressive myself, I do not judge what tickles another person’s fancy – but that doesn’t mean it is something that I will welcome into my own personal life.

Well-known author and sex therapist, Ian Kerner Ph.D, stated in an article for USA Today that “a healthy fantasy life is one key to a great sex life.” In fact, in several of his books, he describes the positive impact that expressing and possibly tackling your sexual fantasies can have on your relationship.

Of course the begging questions are – Where do you begin? How do you put your dirty thoughts into words? And what to do if your idea is accepted or rejected?

Fantasies Are a Glimpse at Real Desires

One of the most interesting thoughts on sexual fantasies is that what we dream about is only a glimpse into our deeper desires. When we dream – whether it’s day-dreaming or an intense dream in our sleep – the subconscious is working to present possibilities to us. It is our brain’s way of saying that something might be a good idea. We have fantasies because we have deeper desires that are simply not talked about in the mainstream world of sex.

Think about your image of sex as it was portrayed to you through television shows, movies, even dirty magazines. It is always the same dynamic of a man and a woman, oral sex, missionary style, and maybe the occasional threesome. By the time you reached early adulthood, you had a simple, straightforward idea of what to expect in the bedroom. As you’ve evolved as a person and had more sexual experiences, you have started to learn more about what makes you tick and what sorts of other experiences are of interest to you.

When it comes to sex, it takes us years to unlearn what we thought we knew when we started dating. Sexual fantasies give us a secure way to test out how different ideas and desires make us feel, before trying them out in real life.

Talking About It as a Dream

If you are struggling to get up the courage to talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies, then you are not alone. It is natural to feel like you will be misunderstood or mocked or send your partner fleeing from the state. Men do have the upper hand because generally they are more vocal about their needs than women. But that doesn’t mean the insecurities aren’t there.

One approach – the easiest approach – that is described by several renowned sex therapists, like Ian Kerner, is to use the “I had a dream” approach. With this idea, you outline your fantasy with as much detail as possible but phrase it like it was a dream that you had. The reason it works is because it starts a conversation in a stress-free way. Instead of you saying I want you to do this to me, you paint a picture of what you “dreamt” about. If she is into in, then the discussion will flow. If she’s not, then she will tell you so. Worst case scenario, you laugh it off and say that it was just a dream.

Be Specific and Don’t Be Shy

sexual fantasy tips for menYour sexual fantasies are a glimpse into the deeper parts of your personality. For example, powerful businessmen who seek being dominated do so because it gives them the opportunity to relinquish power in a controlled environment. There are different reasons why every type of fantasy and desire exists for us. Honestly, I could write countless articles about what each different dynamic means.

But it’s not that important, really. You like what you like. It is as simple as that.

When you talk about your desires, be specific. Keep in mind that your desires stem a lot further than wanting a threesome or some other cliché idea. You aren’t trying to fulfill your bucket list of random sexual acts. You are trying to find fulfillment in something specifically on a sexual and emotional level. Fantasies are about giving you that feeling of value, power, desire, ect that you are craving on the inside. They aren’t usually a one-time thing either. Some sexual desires become staples in a couple’s intimate life.

If you are worried about her rejecting your idea – don’t be. First of all, you have more than one deep desire. Start off with something simple and work your way up. Encourage her to express her desires as well. Go back and forth. Experiment. Figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. Couples that do this are more likely to trust each other with the more dramatic sexual desires. Most importantly, expressing your sexual desires helps bring you both closer, builds the emotional connection, and ensures that your sex life never stops at Snoozetown.

On another positive note, Kerner expressed that with almost all of his patients, couples were pleasantly surprised to find out that they shared many of the same desires. I guess you could chalk this up to the way our personalities connect us with others.

So tell me guys, what’s your fantasy?

Until next time, be sure to catch-all things Knuckle Dragger (@KDMagazine) and countless selfies of me painting drunk, cooking food, or my silly puppy (@XOXOLeanneC) on Instagram.