Samantha Hoopes

Samantha Hoopes

September 30, 2014 0 By Rodney Burrell

Class, meet Samantha Hoopes, a graduate of Penn State, who has taken her business degree and really done something productive with it. She became a mega-popular swimsuit model for Sports Illustrated.

Hoopes recently appeared in the latest edition of the wildly popular magazine, and competed for Rookie of The Year. She didn’t win, but she still got almost naked for millions of horny men, so there ya go.

Hoopes is a natural jock, and loves field hockey. She had to curb the sport because modeling said that she was getting too many bruises. Well, I suppose you can’t argue with the result, body paint.

I gotta tell you guys, as a writer, I need material to write about. It’s how the whole writer thing works, but some of these models I find it increasingly hard to construct a semblance of a story with what they’re giving me. “I like house music, but I used to like EMO…It’s a big transition.” Are you fucking kidding me?

Go skydiving, save a cat, walk down the street backwards, get kidnapped, read a book and write me a report on it. Do something. Anything. While my eyes are quite pleased, my brain is sad.

Nevertheless, I shall dismount from my soapbox, and stick the landing,.