Michigan Man Arrested After Sucking on Dildo in His Car

A man in Michigan was arrested when he was caught sucking on a dildo in his car. Somebody that was not impressed with his abilities, called 911.

Obviously he was just reaching in his bag of hard candy and pulled this  flesh-colored feel good toy out instead. Right? Very Wrong.

The man, whose name has not been released, was driving out of the park when the officers walked up to his car, tapped on the glass and said something to this effect, hey citizen, errr, what the hell are you doing there?

The man’s response. “Sucking on a dildo, I’m sorry.” Shortly after, he was sent off to the clink for disorderly conduct.

The man admitted that he had a problem with sex toys. Yes sir, I would say you have a slight issue. It seems like all off the weird stuff happens in parks, somebody should really work that into a study.

In other sex toy crimes across the nation, last year a New York woman was arrested after throwing a sex toy at a police officer. Moral of the story, if you’re gonna get arrested, do it in erotic style, and use a dildo.