Has Your Relationship Been 50 Shades of Greyed?

January 10, 2013 1 By Leanne Clute

greyGuys, it’s time we have a talk about the trashy novel phenomenon which people are still talking about. 50 Shades of Grey: A series about an innocent, virgin girl who falls in love with an emotionally distraught, sexually dominant billionaire and all his baggage. Feminists and overly-religious types aside, this series – affectionately called “mommy porn” – has been leading women to try a few new moves in the bedroom and leaving men speechless at how to approach the kinky fuckery. Let’s breakdown the realistic view of your relationship being greyed.

It Seems Like a Good Idea…

When it comes to sex, there are many things that seem like a good idea. Like making a sex tape – it sounds good until that camera is out, then it’s just awkward. Or even better, if you go through with making the tape, you are grossly disappointed at how your own love-making is a far cry from the carefully scripted scenes found on your favorite porno. The 50 Shades phenomenon is much like that.

Hardware stores across the country have seen an increase in women buying rope and cable ties to act out the bondage scenes of the books, but we all know that the majority of those items are still in the package, collecting dust in the shed.

It Brings Your Fantasy to Life…

Men and women both have sexual fantasies that they never share with a partner. After reading the 50 Shades series, many women are experiencing more fantasies than they thought of before.

For you guys, this means you could be in a for a wild and fun ride – or a complete nightmare. After all, who wouldn’t enjoy a little more spanking in the bedroom? Crossing the line between fantasy and reality is dangerous for any couple.

Your idea of how things will play out is never what actually happens. Some fantasies, particularly those in the BDSM realm, can truly damage a relationship instead of bringing a couple closer.

This reminds us of the episode of “How I Met  Your Mother” where Barney admits that, like many men, he always wanted to have a threesome but when actually in a position to do so realized that the fantasy would not only be ruined, but likely so would his pride if he couldn’t deliver on all levels.

But You’re Just Not That Guy…

You are probably not a billionaire with a jaded past and a desire for a BDSM relationship – and that’s ok. The Christian Grey fantasy is just that – a fantasy and you shouldn’t be worried about living up to a fictional character. Most women who read the series will openly admit that although it evokes erotic thoughts, many of the sexual acts presented in the series are far outside of their comfort zone.

Apparently she IS That Woman…

What do you do when your partner has brought home some bondage tape and other gear from the local XXX shop – you talk about it. Don’t mistake a moment of fueled passion from literary porn for a cart blank opportunity to try new things without discussing it.

Sexual acts that include bondage, excessive spanking and the use of toys (like what is described in the series) are not for everyone. They require a LOT of trust between two people. If you both decide that trying something new is right for you, be sure to use a safe word and discuss feelings and expectations beforehand.