Handheld Flameball Thrower

In the spirit of anarchy mixed with extreme nerdism and magic, we introduce Pyro, the handheld flameball thrower that would give Torch a run for his money.

Adam Wilber, the creator of Pyro, developed the apparatus to kind of look like a wristwatch that James Bond would be proud of wearing before,  during, or after a passionate shag with an operative he’s trying to steal secrets from.

Also handy for spy work, Pyro is equipped with four barrels that can be triggered remotely.

For only $170, you can feel like a real life Iron Man. Minus the money, looks, wit, or charm, but you’re sorted on the fire throwing, don’t worry.

Kate Upton loves fire.

We’ve also included an incredibly annoying promo video. We’re not really sure why Adam is walking in the desert, or why random Lamborghinis go speeding by. And we’re utterly baffled by the sparklers. Perhaps he wanted to get us amped up about fire? One would think that portable fireballs are enough to get even the most pedestrian lad a little excited.

Nevertheless, time to terrorize my neighbor’s cat. Cheerio.