Finally, I can use an Uzi in Public

October 15, 2012 0 By Rodney Burrell

Uzi, the manufacturers of the tactical pen, have just given library nerds hope for the future. The pen, crafted out of aircraft grade aluminum serves not only as something to write midterm papers

with, but also doubles as a puncture weapon, DNA catcher, glass breaker, and when all else fails, there’s a a hidden handcuff key, just in case you happen to get handcuffed against your will…You adventure seeking nerd you.

Perhaps the guys from the hangover could have used this thing when they were getting their asses kicked by that Asian midget with incredibly small penis. Anyway, it’s only $25.00, so it’s worth having a pen that you can kill someone with.