Sexcessorizing Made Easy – Try Getting Busy With These Fitness Tools

A few months ago I had this insane idea that I was going to start Bob Harper’s BlackFire fitness routine on DailyBurn.com. I was ridiculously excited over this high-intensity workout program. That was, of course, until 15-minutes of fast-paced burpees and mountain climbers later when I remembered that chain smokers have better lung function than I do. Nothing makes you realize you are not a superhero like being under 30 and on the brink of C.O.P.D for no other reason than you got dealt a crappy genetic card in utero that gave you really crappy lungs.

I hate being told what to do. So I was determined to press on. So determined that I hopped onto Amazon and bought the $70 Plyometric Box that was needed for the routine. A few days later, it arrived at my door. Unassembled. Much to my disappointment.

One hour of a 90s Hip Hop dance party and a lot of swearing and wishing I had power tools later, I had it assembled. Proud of myself, I posted a picture on Instagram with the caption “Now to remember this is for fitness. Not dancing and other things.”

A few hours after immortalizing this reminder on the World Wide Web, I was busy getting busy with my lunch-date on the plyo box. Turns out, this isn’t the only piece of fitness equipment that can double as a sexcessory.

Yoga Block

sex tips for men sex with yoga blockYoga blocks are used during your practice to help you get into a pose that you might not be limber or long enough to achieve on your own. Several of the warrior poses rely on these blocks to help the person adequately reach the floor by bringing it close to them by a few inches. These blocks are made of a dense foam and have rounded edges which make them perfect for lifting the butt during sex.

Simply place one block under the tailbone of your girl while she is lying on her back. The angle will be enough that all the blood doesn’t go rushing to her head and that you can enjoy deeper penetration. Think of it like an aid to the traditional legs-on-shoulders types of positions. Because the foam is soft, it will be comfortable for her as you are thrusting. The few inches and change in angle make a dramatic difference because it changes the angle of the vagina as you are entering it – making it more intense for both of you.

Foam Roller

If you don’t own a foam roller, you should get online and order one RIGHT NOW. I think this is the best fitness tool imaginable. It’s a true saving grace after long-run day and leg-day. Just rolling your muscles along it can relieve serious amounts of tension and pain that you feel after a workout. It’s like having a deep tissue massage without having to pay the hefty price of it.

Of course, you can work out other forms of tension with your partner with this unit, as well.

There are two positions which I highly recommend using this for. For the first, have your partner assume a position on all fours with her shins resting on the top of the foam roller. She will probably find it more comfortable on her arms/shoulders to rest her forearms on the floor, similar to how you would in plank position. Enter from behind – doggy style – and you’ll enjoy having deeper penetration, the perfect height, and the ability to let the roller do the work of moving her behind in and out instead of putting all the pressure on your own knees and hips.

The second option for the foam roller is a twist on any girl-on-top position. It is no secret that these positions allow for the deepest penetration. Maximum depth is hard to achieve because most surfaces do not allow enough “clearance space” for a woman to really get deep on top of you. Lay on top of the foam roller so that it supports your head-neck-back-bum. Have her straddle you in the traditional girl-on-top manner. With your body lifted, it will be easier for her to get the maximum penetration from the position because her legs have the necessary clearance space between the top of you and the floor. Pretty much any variation of girl-on-top is enhanced with this tool.

Stability Ball

sex tips for men fitness ballA stability ball gives a little bounce to any sexual position. But this is really a great tool for better oral sex. There is this position often referred to as the Rushing Waterfall where the person who is receiving has their head lower than their body, causing the blood to flow heavier in their head and therefore enhancing the feel of an orgasm. Now, when I have seen mention of this position, it always has the person hanging off the side of a bed. Let’s be honest, that is a bit crazy. You’re trying to enhance your pleasure, not pass out.

The ball gives you a nice middle ground. Either person can lie across the ball on their back during oral sex. The head will fall just a little to the other side of the ball to increase blood flow without making their head spin.

Plyo Box

I still haven’t used the plyo box for fitness, but let me tell you, there are some benefits to using it for sex. First, it makes another form of an elevated platform for deeper penetration. My personal favorite being the seated reverse cowgirl position. For this, sit on top of the box and have your partner straddle you with her back facing you. The boxes are wide enough that she should be able to wrap her legs around the back of you and use your knees to stabilize her body while she rides you. Of course, you should probably hold on to her as well – just to be safe.

When she is sitting on the box, it is the perfect height for you to receive oral pleasure without putting all that pressure on her knees. You can also use it for standing positions, depending on the box height. She can stand on it to give you direct access to her hoohaa without risk of you breaking your dick trying to thrust and hold her at the same time. Lastly, you can get a better angle to orally pleasure her when she stands on the box.

What I’m saying, guys, is that there is a use for some of that fitness equipment collecting dust in your spare bedroom. And sexcessorizing your life doesn’t have to break the bank. Work with what you got!

Until next time, don’t forget to follow KD Magazine (@KDMagazine) and myself (@XOXOLeanneC) on Instagram!

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Forget Everything You Think You Know About Sexual Fantasies

The psychology behind sexual fantasies has become a study point for me in recent years. I find it interesting to see the different roles that people play in their personal and professional lives. From powerful men who beg to be dominated in the bedroom to the thriving world of role-playing and costume-fetish-play; there is a niche for every interest.

sexual-fantasies-studyFor decades, people were afraid to admit that they even thought about some of their deepest darkest desires, but that has all changed. Today, we live in a sexually progressive society where every type of desire can be catered to, without judgement. Despite this, men and women struggle to find ways to talk about their fantasies when in a relationship.

Frankly, I like to cut right to the chase. Typically I ask questions about sexual fantasies long before things ever progress to a second or third date. Being sexually progressive myself, I do not judge what tickles another person’s fancy – but that doesn’t mean it is something that I will welcome into my own personal life.

Well-known author and sex therapist, Ian Kerner Ph.D, stated in an article for USA Today that “a healthy fantasy life is one key to a great sex life.” In fact, in several of his books, he describes the positive impact that expressing and possibly tackling your sexual fantasies can have on your relationship.

Of course the begging questions are – Where do you begin? How do you put your dirty thoughts into words? And what to do if your idea is accepted or rejected?

Fantasies Are a Glimpse at Real Desires

One of the most interesting thoughts on sexual fantasies is that what we dream about is only a glimpse into our deeper desires. When we dream – whether it’s day-dreaming or an intense dream in our sleep – the subconscious is working to present possibilities to us. It is our brain’s way of saying that something might be a good idea. We have fantasies because we have deeper desires that are simply not talked about in the mainstream world of sex.

Think about your image of sex as it was portrayed to you through television shows, movies, even dirty magazines. It is always the same dynamic of a man and a woman, oral sex, missionary style, and maybe the occasional threesome. By the time you reached early adulthood, you had a simple, straightforward idea of what to expect in the bedroom. As you’ve evolved as a person and had more sexual experiences, you have started to learn more about what makes you tick and what sorts of other experiences are of interest to you.

When it comes to sex, it takes us years to unlearn what we thought we knew when we started dating. Sexual fantasies give us a secure way to test out how different ideas and desires make us feel, before trying them out in real life.

Talking About It as a Dream

If you are struggling to get up the courage to talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies, then you are not alone. It is natural to feel like you will be misunderstood or mocked or send your partner fleeing from the state. Men do have the upper hand because generally they are more vocal about their needs than women. But that doesn’t mean the insecurities aren’t there.

One approach – the easiest approach – that is described by several renowned sex therapists, like Ian Kerner, is to use the “I had a dream” approach. With this idea, you outline your fantasy with as much detail as possible but phrase it like it was a dream that you had. The reason it works is because it starts a conversation in a stress-free way. Instead of you saying I want you to do this to me, you paint a picture of what you “dreamt” about. If she is into in, then the discussion will flow. If she’s not, then she will tell you so. Worst case scenario, you laugh it off and say that it was just a dream.

Be Specific and Don’t Be Shy

sexual fantasy tips for menYour sexual fantasies are a glimpse into the deeper parts of your personality. For example, powerful businessmen who seek being dominated do so because it gives them the opportunity to relinquish power in a controlled environment. There are different reasons why every type of fantasy and desire exists for us. Honestly, I could write countless articles about what each different dynamic means.

But it’s not that important, really. You like what you like. It is as simple as that.

When you talk about your desires, be specific. Keep in mind that your desires stem a lot further than wanting a threesome or some other cliché idea. You aren’t trying to fulfill your bucket list of random sexual acts. You are trying to find fulfillment in something specifically on a sexual and emotional level. Fantasies are about giving you that feeling of value, power, desire, ect that you are craving on the inside. They aren’t usually a one-time thing either. Some sexual desires become staples in a couple’s intimate life.

If you are worried about her rejecting your idea – don’t be. First of all, you have more than one deep desire. Start off with something simple and work your way up. Encourage her to express her desires as well. Go back and forth. Experiment. Figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. Couples that do this are more likely to trust each other with the more dramatic sexual desires. Most importantly, expressing your sexual desires helps bring you both closer, builds the emotional connection, and ensures that your sex life never stops at Snoozetown.

On another positive note, Kerner expressed that with almost all of his patients, couples were pleasantly surprised to find out that they shared many of the same desires. I guess you could chalk this up to the way our personalities connect us with others.

So tell me guys, what’s your fantasy?

Until next time, be sure to catch-all things Knuckle Dragger (@KDMagazine) and countless selfies of me painting drunk, cooking food, or my silly puppy (@XOXOLeanneC) on Instagram.

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This is the Ultimate Trick for G-Spot Stimulation

If you’ll recall, I had an interesting summer embracing the world of online dating for the first time in some seven years. I met some interesting characters. Tying for first with the bowel-movement-obsessed guy is the man who flat-out told me that he masturbates daily with a vibrator stuck in his ass. You guys, I CANNOT make this stuff up.

I’m no one to judge anyone’s version of pleasure. But some information doesn’t need to be broadcast in the first meeting. Nonetheless, his approach to getting his rocks off is right on point with the sexual trend of pegging that you may remember I wrote about a few months ago.

amazing-blow-jobI often say that the world of sex and pleasure is vast – as big as my arms can span – and what most of us know about it is microscopic in comparison. With every piece I write, every book I read, and every person I meet, I am amazed at what I learn about how pleasure works for different people with different preferences. I mean, despite my vast sexcapades and experiences, I just learned what the “shocker” (absolutely thought it was some silly rockstar hand symbol) was while lost in Pennsylvania on my way home from Christmas in New  York.

That being said, the concept of pegging is built on internal prostate stimulation. Stimulation of this area leads to more explosive and satisfying orgasms. However, for men who are not quite as adventurous there is an alternative, external option.

Enter Now, The Male G-Spot

While the female g-spot might be elusive, the male g-spot is out in plain sight. If you are familiar with the slang term taint then you know exactly where I’m going with this. The perineum is the official name for the swath of skin that exists behind the scrotum, before you reach the anus. This section of skin is the external cover of the prostate gland.

How to Stimulate it

The best time to simulate this area is during solo or oral sex. Chances are you are leaning towards the latter. When your lady is going down on you, have her stretch her index and middle fingers past your ball sack and apply gentle, massaging pressure with her fingertips. This move is relatively easy to do since she will already have her hand in place and the rhythm of the massage will match the rhythm of her mouth gyrating up and down your cock.

Stimulation of this area is going to feel weird and exciting at first. For some men, its proximity to the anus is a little too close for comfort. However, if you let your mind clear and focus on what you are feeling, you will notice increased arousal.

For men who struggle to come through a blow job or hand job alone, this little trick can be exactly what you need to cross the finish line.

Vibrators Aren’t Just for Women

wescreamvibeIn his book Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man, sex therapist Ian Kerner mentions the power of external g-spot stimulation with a low pulse vibrator. The reason vibrators are so effective for clitoral stimulation with women is because it stimulates tissue that is deep inside which leads to a more powerful and pleasurable orgasm. The same concept applies to men.

Now, some vibrators out there for women are pretty scary. Remember that these are designed to deliver a whole host of stimulation to various parts of the female genitals. Men do not need all those fancy beads, teethed nubs, and flapping pseudo-tongues. For you, opt for a velvet smooth, multi-speed traditional style vibrator. I highly recommend the Nasswalk Velvet Kiss We Scream available on Amazon.com for only $10. The silky smooth shell will feel enticing on your g-spot and the varied speeds make it easy for your partner to start with subtle vibrations and work it up as you become more aroused.

For solo play, you could also choose a vibrated constriction ring or stroker.

Some things are worth trying, guys. You don’t know the limits of your own pleasure until you do.

Until next time,

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