Packing a Smaller Gun? Here’s How to Rock it so She Won’t Forget It.

leanneclutesextipsThis week I posed the question to my girlfriends on various group chats: What do you think about a guy with a smaller dick?

My diverse group of female friends contains every race combination available, so I figured this would give me a reasonable pool of answers. From an anthropological perspective, the size of both the penis and the vagina are *mostly* correlated to race. I say *mostly* because there are a number of genetic, health, and environmental factors that can play a role in this as well. Either way, with their diverse perspectives on the word “small”, I knew they could provide some usable opinions.

I was met with a variety of answers, from women who said a smaller penis is “entirely worthless” to those that agreed it’s about how you use it, to a handful that said they actually prefer it.

Based on research performed by Richard Herring, author of Talking Cock, the average size of the penis is 6.73”. Men who are at the lower end of the spectrum – 3.3” in length to this point – are considered smaller. As I thought back over the years, I realized that for myself, there have only been a few men that fell into this category.

When I turned the conversation to the guys, I learned that obsessing over the size of their penis is relatively common. In fact, several men even told me that they think their smaller-average size has to do with their lack of love. Herring’s research revealed that 63% of women agree that size is a factor in the quality of love making; but what if it’s not so much about the size, but how you use it?

I’ve always been a firm believer that the motion of the ocean is what ultimately matters. The problem is that many sex tips out there are geared towards “every” male when each and every one of you is different. Knowing how to rock it when you’re packing a smaller gun is the secret to keeping her coming back for more. In the bedroom, you should have enough confidence to take control of how her body is positioned, and the moves you try, to maximize pleasure for both of you. These tips are easy to execute and provide the right twist to accommodate your wood for every woman.

Photo Jan 23, 10 05 54 PMSplit the Legs and Rock

Perhaps one of the most underutilized sex positions for all men is the classic leg split. You get a nice look at her whole body with this move, while also putting you in a position to go deeper and hit at a different angle. To execute the leg split, you will have your lady-friend on her back and straddle one of her upper thighs. Lift the opposite leg up over your shoulder and cozy on in to her naughty bits. This position is gentle on the knees as well because you can both rock into the motion for a slow building orgasm. The sideways angle which your penis enters the vagina creates a unique sensation that is missed with most other positions. It also makes your smaller member feel larger inside her and increases overall pleasure.

Take Doggie Style Over the Edge

One go-to move for most men, especially those with smaller dicks, is doggie style because it is one position that offers better depth. However, traditional doggy style doesn’t give you quite the angle that you want to make her remember a night with you. Two simple changes should be made to maximize this position. First, have her bring her legs together in between yours. This creates a tighter space for your cock. Second, have her brace herself over the edge of a pile of pillows or the side of a sofa. Women often move into a downward dog style when enjoying this position – where her ass is in the air and her face is buried into the bed. This creates a deeper angle which isn’t beneficial when you are smaller. The positioning over the edge will keep her back flat and give you direct access to hitting her sweet spot with ease.

Curl Up and Go Deep

Appropriate access to the vagina is crucial when it comes to adding the wow factor in the bedroom when you are lthe-snail leanne r cluteess endowed. The snail is a sex position where the woman is curled back in a way that gives the deepest penetration possible. Not so great news for men who are well above average as this move can be extremely painful for a woman. GREAT new for those who think they are less fortunate. Start by placing her legs straight up in the air with her ankles resting on your shoulder. You will need to place your hands on her butt and hold her up for support as you enter. Next, have her bend her knees, keeping her legs together, and roll her body back towards her face. Almost like she is trying to touch her nose to her knees. And go to town. You’ll be able to brace yourself on either side of her once you are in the full position. The deep penetration will make her gasp while easily letting you hit her various pleasure zones. Go above and beyond by adding some breast play into this position, if you really want to rock her world.

Herring’s research also revealed that only 25% of women believe that penis size is a reason to end a relationship. Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the leading causes of relationships ending today – regardless of the size of your cock. Learning how to use your own parts, work with hers, and cater to both of your needs and desires is what makes a happy, healthy sex life.

Don’t worry, it’s not like you have to figure it out on your own. That’s why you have me.

Until next time, I’ve taken up a new hobby of getting drunk and woodburning bottle openers. Check it out on Instagram @XoXoLeanneC and follow @KDMagazine for more.

Photo+May+24,+1+01+55+PM_clipped_rev_2

Got a question you’re dying to have answered? Email me directly: xoxoleannec@gmail.com.

In 2016 – Want Better. Be Better. Do Better.

Just 48 hours ago, we turned the clock on another year. Resolutions of health and wellness and relationship satisfaction are all around. Maybe you kissed a special someone at midnight. Maybe you kissed a stranger. Maybe you kissed your dog. Now here we are, on the second day of 2016, and too many of you are still asking when you’re going to find Mrs. Right.

If you were like my friend Jay, you took my advice from last year and ended 2015 with a bang – literally and figuratively. If you failed to keep your promise to me and take my advice, here’s a new chance to try again.

In 2015, I learned a lot about relationships and was fortunate enough to help quite a few people get through the ups and downs, endings and findings of their own. Yet the same message kept coming from my mouth over and over again: When it comes to love you need to want better, be better, and do better.

Love Should Be a Fuck Yes

manonknifeKudos to my friend Sam for teaching me the “Fuck Yes” principle last year. When it comes to all aspects of life, you simply have to ask yourself whether it is exactly what you want. It’s either a “Fuck Yes, I Do” or it’s a “Fuck No.” There is no in between. When you stand in the in between, you only get confusion about your own feelings.

How does this pertain to your relationships? It gives you a reason to want better for yourself. Few things agitate me more than seeing social media postings about how men are always working in the sidelines for women and women don’t appreciate them enough for it. Let me tell you something, if your with someone who can’t see every amazing thing you do – get out. You don’t want to be the guy standing on the knife for a woman who can’t be bothered to see it.

Want better for yourself. Want someone who treats you the way you want to be treated. Want someone who makes you feel the way you want to feel. Don’t want a warm body, half-cocked affection, and settle.

Get Out of Your Own Way

I’ve mentioned a time or two that when someone asks me why I’m still single, I now say “because I made the wrong choices in men.” I’m pretty amazing. I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit that. But it took me a long time to get out of my own fucking way. To stop dating the wrong types of men and to really learn and understand who the right types of men for me are.

Last year, I pledged to be better. I focused on taking care of myself and handling my own insecurities and personal baggage. When it came to love, I (almost) only devoted my time to individuals who made me want to be better. I got out of my own way and stopped letting my own issues prevent me from feeling what I wanted to feel. I may not have ended the year with a ring on my finger, but I did end it getting to know a few amazing men who were in my life for all the right reasons.

Getting out of your own way might mean you stop being such a selfish asshole all the time. It might mean that you stop making apologies for wanting to be undeniably happy and in love. Or it might mean you start doing more in your relationship to give it the potential that it needs, instead of standing with one foot in the water and one foot in the sand. Make a choice to be better for yourself and your partner, and watch how quickly things change.

Love and Be Loved, Uniquely You

tumblr_my907ckrjx1t3icg0o1_500Remember back to that post I did about the unconventional Valentine’s Day? That principle of unique love should filter into your entire relationship. Do better than heart-shaped candies and roses. Do better than forgetting special dates and gas station cards. Be the guy that loves the way he loves and let someone love you the same.

If you haven’t seen the uber chick-flick of the last 20-years, The Notebook, then you should probably rent it right now. Noah Calhoun is uniquely romantic. He has nothing. And it doesn’t matter. The commercially-driven world we live in doesn’t want you to know that roses and expensive dinners aren’t what really makes a woman happy. Noah portrayed his love for Allie by writing her letters. It cost him nothing and it meant the world to her – when she finally got to read them. You might not be a literary wordinaire, but you have your own way of expressing love – go with that.

Choose to do better for yourself by spending less time worrying about buying an expensive gift and more time showing that your love is the ultimate gift.

201501_1819_abeiiMore importantly, do better by letting someone love you in their own unique ways. See the way that they show their love, and accept it. You deserve it! Stop doubting it! You don’t need the material things in life, you need each other. A woman who wants to be with you accepts all your flaws. Right down to leaving your stinky socks on the floor and your asshole tendencies. She sees the way you show love, and loves you for it even if it isn’t a diamond tennis bracelet or a dozen red roses.

If you want to end this year better than you started it, this principle – Want better. Be better. Do better. – is all you need. Apply it to your current relationship, your pending relationship, and the future relationship that’s waiting for you.

Until next time, I’m still getting wastyface and painting drunk pictures on Instagram (@XoXoLeanneC) or you can follow the hot semi-naked chicks @KDMagazine.

Photo+May+24,+1+01+55+PM_clipped_rev_2

 

New Ways to Touch Her Down There

What is your go-to move for getting things started with your lady?

For many men, it’s to not-so-casually reach between her legs and start moving their fingers around.

This is the start of foreplay – an essential part of female arousal.

The problem comes when you have been with someone for a few months or years and you have figured out all of the go-to spots for getting her primed and ready for sex. According to Marianne Brandon Ph.D, author of Monogamy: The Untold Story, you start to put in less effort than you once did and your sex life becomes mundane. In fact, one of my closest friends commented on this recently. After nearly two years together, sex has gotten boring. In her own words “He gets me off quick and we got to bed. It’s boring and become routine.”

When sex becomes routine, it loses its ability to connect you with your partner and strengthen your relationship. For couples that believe sexual compatibility is important, this can lead to the end of a relationship. It doesn’t take much effort on your part to change things up, you simply need to adjust your approach to pleasuring your partner. Here are four tips for new ways to touch her, down there.

Discover the Clitoral Hood

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard of the hit Netflix series Orange is the New Black. This show got everyone on screen and off screen talking about the clitoral hood. This piece of skin is an extension of the inner labia lips. When a woman becomes aroused, it retracts, exposing the clitoris. Until that point happens, this little flap of skin has its own nerve endings for you to play with. Drag your finger up from the vaginal opening towards the clitoris and feel for the flap. Slowly begin massaging it with your thumb or index finger. This feel-good spot will deliver new sensations to her that she probably hasn’t experienced before.

masaje-sensualMassage Her Nether Region

Men are often so focused on clitoral stimulation that they forget how sensitive a woman’s skin is down there. I’m not just talking about the labia. Women respond to massaging and touching in all parts of her nether region – the inner thighs, mons pubis, buttocks and even that skin that exists before the anus. Touch Me There author Yvonne Fulbright Ph.D suggests applying medium pressure with your palm while you massage the entire area. Dragging your fingers slowly along the inside of her thighs and the edge of her labia is a sure fire way to slowly generate arousal before you ever touch the clitoris or the vagina.

Use Your Fingers & Thumb

One of the biggest mistakes men make when using their hands to pleasure a woman is trying to do too much. Remember that the vagina is not designed to fit around your three middle fingers. It is also not designed for you to ramming them in feverishly without causing her some sort of discomfort. Change it up by using just your middle and index fingers, slowly moving them in and out while applying pressure on the top of the vaginal cavity. This move ensures you are reaching for the rough patch of skin located there known as the g-spot. Then, take your thumb of the same hand and start massaging the clitoris while you are working your two fingers inside of her. The pressure of the two erogenous zones is enough to get her slicked up quick and most likely get her off.

Bonus: Your other hand and mouth are freed up to caress, touch and kiss her other places!

Let Her Start it Off

masturabte-self-loveHave you ever let her get started and watched? Men are often too afraid to ask for this and women are too nervous to suggest it, but both of you can benefit from doing it. First, by letting her pleasure herself in front you, you get a good look at what really gets her off. Second, it’s visual stimulation for your own arousal. She benefits by feeling sexy and desired by you. Plus, women note that when they are being watched, they feel more aroused than usual. When you are ready, you can join in the fun and she is already primed and most of the way there which means less work on your part.

But don’t worry, you’ll both be so turned on by the act that you’ll be ready to dive right into to getting down and dirty.

It is far too easy for an unsatisfying sex life to drive a wedge between two people who are otherwise perfectly compatible. If you sense that you and your partner are starting to drift apart in the bedroom, or just want to try something new, give some of these techniques a try to breathe life back into your foreplay.

Until next time,

Photo+May+24,+1+01+55+PM_clipped_rev_2