“Butt Chugging” Shows Us The World Has Gone To Shit…

Just in case you were wondering about the state of our society, this is how far we’ve come. “Butt Chugging” is an exciting and magical new trend sweeping the nation. Amped up college students, or just about anyone with a taste for the wild side, can insert a tube filled with alcohol, or even a bottle of cough syrup directly into their anal cavity for maximum alcoholism and/or drug abuse.

Once inserted, the alcohol absorbs much faster than through the pesky mouth hole. The innovative drug found in cough syrup, Dextromethorphan (DXM), offers users a trippy anal experience chalked full of hallucinations, and even a seizure or two, if you’re lucky.

While we can’t highly recommend sticking things up your bum to get shit-faced, we can recommend several qualified mental health professionals to ring in the New Year.

 

NYPD Cop Assaults The Floor In An Epic Breakdance Challenge

NYPD Breakdance CopWhen protecting and serving just isn’t enough. This New York police officer took it upon himself to protect his legacy and serve up a can of shut the hell up to a crowd of people attending a dance off.

I’ve seen a polar bear ride a tricycle, a 60-year-old woman in a thong at Wal-Mart, and now I can add break dancing cop to the list.

Enjoy all of this legal awesomeness.

Baltimore Mom Beats The Brakes Off Of Her Rioting Son

It’s very unfortunate what’s been going on in Baltimore at the moment. The death of another person in custody at the hands of law enforcement has completely unraveled some of the citizens. Rioting has ripped apart the city in mostly a black/white race war, with a strong culture of anarchy directed at the police. All-in-all, it’s a pretty shitty situation for humanity, especially when the earthquakes in Nepal have killed over 4,000 people and everyone is worried more about selfies and pictures of their latest trip to New York.

But enough of my political manifesto. The real reason we’re here is some good old fashion parental ass whoopin’. What happens when you live at home and then decide to riot on live television, and then your mom finds out? She proceeds to not only strip you of your manhood, but also cements any chance of getting laid in this century. In the video, you can see the mom grabbing her son as he tries to retreat, and then proceeds to provide him with a tune up for the ages.

Manhood, done. Enjoy the video. Screw the riot team, I’m a tell yo momma.