Alyssa Miller

For the past 45 minutes, I thought the world-wide web was lying to me. As a firm believer that everything on the internet is true, I found it extremely hard to believe that Alyssa Miller was just some model from SoCal. Her look, her photos, her everything lends to a foreign entity not longed for this American lifestyle of Wal-Mart and super-sized fries.

But alas, the 25-year-old supermodel is from land of plastic and self-loathing Starbucks baristas, California.

Now that the internet has gained my trust back, I shall continue on. Miller, who has been modeling since her teens, has appeared on the cover of Vogue Germany, Elle Italy, and was featured in too many other publications to list. Naturally, being featured in Knuckle Dragger has been her crowning achievement up to this point, so the future is bright.

She’s also modeled for Victoria’s Secret and Guess. Miller takes part in ballet and running to stay fit, and she also practices transcendental meditation, a specific form of mantra meditation. If you still don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, maybe you should invest in a Wikipedia subscription. There’s an underlying joke in that statement, I’ll leave it to you all to figure it out.

But while you’re doing that, enjoy pictures of the most foreign looking Americans every created.



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