Alyssa Miller

For the past 45 minutes, I thought the world-wide web was lying to me. As a firm believer that everything on the internet is true, I found it extremely hard to believe that Alyssa Miller was just some model from SoCal. Her look, her photos, her everything lends to a foreign entity not longed for this American lifestyle of Wal-Mart and super-sized fries.

But alas, the 25-year-old supermodel is from land of plastic and self-loathing Starbucks baristas, California.

Now that the internet has gained my trust back, I shall continue on. Miller, who has been modeling since her teens, has appeared on the cover of Vogue Germany, Elle Italy, and was featured in too many other publications to list. Naturally, being featured in Knuckle Dragger has been her crowning achievement up to this point, so the future is bright.

She’s also modeled for Victoria’s Secret and Guess. Miller takes part in ballet and running to stay fit, and she also practices transcendental meditation, a specific form of mantra meditation. If you still don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, maybe you should invest in a Wikipedia subscription. There’s an underlying joke in that statement, I’ll leave it to you all to figure it out.

But while you’re doing that, enjoy pictures of the most foreign looking Americans every created.



Featured Articles

“Gym Wildlife” Video Makes Every Gym Goer Look Like an Asshole…And It’s 100% Correct.

Something happened the other day. YouTube production team, “Buff Dudes”, made a parody video of what about gym culture, and it complete wrecks every person that has been to the gym. Obviously discounting old people who talk most of the time and fall asleep mid rep. They’ve also left out the all important mom demographic, […]

10 Hours Driving Around NYC with an Exotic Car [Graphic Content]

Some people disgust me. I mean a guy can’t even take his 300k supercar around without being harassed and asked to take pictures. The paint was repeatedly touched, and people yelled out comments as he was sitting at stop lights and parking lots. If you don’t like exotic car harassment, this isn’t the video for […]

Girl in Bikini gets Humped by Dolphin. She liked it.

The internet provides us with a multitude of entertaining viewing options. 24-7. From porn to squirrels juggling knives, the world is your oyster, you web-surfing champion. Well, today we have a dolphin humping a busty blonde. Barbie, who clearly lives up to her name, is on vacation and at one of those fancy dolphin […]

Hot Nurse Gives Free Testicle Exams on The Street [Video]

So, this happened on the internet. In an effort to promote awareness for testicular cancer, a hot young malady in a more hot nurses outfit offered to give men free testicle examinations. At first, guys were a little hesitant, but then they realized, there’s an attractive woman willing to look for change in their coin […]

Cooking with Coolio

Coolio, rapper extraordinaire is about to take you on a fantasy voyage through the gangsta’s paradise of culinary excellence with his new cookbook. Not only can Coolio tear up the sound waves, he can bring some ghetto-fabulous flavor to your dull suburban kitchen. This ain’t no Emeril Lagasse or Rachel Ray, Coolio is about to […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: