First Date Conversations: 3 Things No Woman Wants to Hear

I spent my summer enjoying the wonderful world of online dating. While I realize you cannot hear my voice, please know that there is a significant level of sarcasm in that statement. I endured horrible date after horrible date with men who seemed just fine on paper but were total duds in person. I quickly learned that no amount of online messaging chemistry could fix the bad first date that eventually came.

What was the worst part? First date conversation.

With online dating, you get a lot of the get-to-know-you-basics out-of-the-way before you ever meet. Ideally, this should make first date conversation a breeze. Yet I found myself wondering why some things were being said. Thus I bring you, three things that no woman wants to hear on a first date.

BAD-BLIND-DATE-300x186Gross Oversharing

Guys tend to tell me a lot of things about themselves when I’m chatting with them for research. I really thought I had heard it all until I went on one date with a seemingly nice, normal guy. To start, he had the voice of a phlegmatic yet flamboyant gay man. About 20 minutes into our date, he started telling me about his bowel movements. At first I thought it was no big deal. It would be a short-lived conversation. But it wasn’t. In fact, he brought it up repeatedly over the course of the evening. He went into detail about how he will only use certain public restrooms that are more “private” because all food makes him sick.

By the end of the date, I knew everything I did not want to know about his stool and bathroom habits. What’s worse is that we ran into some of his friends while we were out and they knew all this about him too. At least I know he wasn’t trying to alienate me specifically.

Really guys, some things are best kept to yourself – especially on the first date.

it-wont-workYour Negativity

On another date, the guy asked for my suggestion on the best Thai food in town. I know, without out a doubt, which restaurant that is. Not only based on my opinion but also based on the consistent positive online reviews. During the date, the guy criticized everything from the server to the bathrooms to the music. I finally drew the line when he droned on for 20 minutes about how the food wasn’t as good as it is in Thailand because they squeeze the fish with their bare hands there. Really dude? To top it off, he had nothing good to say about his job, his life or the people in it. Negativity is exhausting and can quickly ruin a date.

Thankfully he had a work emergency and had to cut the date short. When he asked if he could see me again on Saturday, I was thankful to already have another date planned. Even more thankful that my Saturday date turned out to be totally amazing.

IndecisiveYour Indecisiveness

Do you want to really send a girl running? Let her know that you don’t know what you want out of life, the future or a relationship. If you are over the age of 21, there is pretty much no excuse for not having some sort of idea. If you’re simply not ready to make that commitment, then be honest and say so. Don’t waste a girl’s time by taking her out on a nice date and then telling her that you are not sure what you want out of a relationship. It’s even worse if you follow it up with a really lame excuse like that you are afraid of getting too serious because the last girl you dated faked a pregnancy.

The last guy I dated turned into be a major alcoholic and landed himself in jail and then started putting his dick in every white trash woman he came across. Would you like me to act like you’re the same? I didn’t think so.

If a woman commits to a date with you then she is interested in dating. It’s okay if you both agree that there is no chemistry after the first date. Just don’t drone on and on about how you aren’t sure on what you really want. Or how you’re “afraid of children” or a “work-a-holic who most girls don’t understand”. You’re afraid of commitment and clearly not ready to be in a relationship. Call it like it is.

Better Conversation Topics

If you want to “wow” a woman on a first date, then ask some good questions like:

  • What are some of your favorite hobbies and how did you get involved with them?
  • Have you traveled anywhere interesting or are there places you would like to go?
  • What does your perfect Sunday look like?

These seemingly simple questions give you insight into the heart of a person, their personality and easily generate a stimulating conversation.

‘Til next time,


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