Men have got it so much easier than women when it comes to orgasms and sex. You are going to get off pretty much every time. But your woman -not so much. Dozens of studies have been conducted over the years, continuously determining that between 57% and 65% of women fake their orgasm. The reasons that they do it vary, but as a whole, it’s because we never want a man to feel like he hasn’t done a good job. Unless she’s an emasculating bitch (and you’re into that sort of thing), of course.
What You Should Know
Sex is not always about climaxing for women. We gain an emotional closeness from being intimate with you. The Big O certainly makes it much better but feeling you inside of us, touching us and getting your own pleasure can be enough for some women. Of course, if you want to really show her you care then you should make sure she’s taken care of too.
Women are capable of having multiple and different styles of orgasms during sex. Men are not. Sorry guys. In the popular book She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, sex therapist Ian Kerner gives men a detailed approach to making sure she never fakes it again. I’ll sum it up for you with: Make her come using your finger or tongue. Let her service you. Work on her some more. Move onto sex. Enjoy a simultaneous orgasm as a finale. Rest and Repeat.
Why? A woman’s orgasm builds with each climax throughout the sexual experience. This means that the finale will be the most explosive and easier to achieve together. I’ll tell you this – if you have never experienced that explosive orgasm simultaneously with your partner, you are missing out.
You’re familiar with the traditional clitoral, vaginal and multiple orgasms but here are three other styles that pack a serious erotic punch you both will enjoy.
Most women love to have their breasts suckled during sex. But many women do not know that there are around 8,000 nerve endings in the sensitive nipple tissue. According to Sari Cooper, a NYC-based Sex Therapist, accessing this erogenous zone will lead to a more pleasurable orgasm. Nipple stimulation leads to the release of oxytocin which triggers blood flow to the vagina and, with the right technique, can cause orgasmic contractions.
How do you do it?
Nipple stimulation should always start with a gentle biting, pulling and pinching on your part. If [when] she realizes how good it feels, you can upgrade to nipple clamps. Adjustable clamps with rubber ends are the best choice. These are flush against the nipple (there are also teethed versions) and can be sized to give the right pressure with the twist of a screw. Put them on her and begin licking and gently flicking the nipple with your tongue. It will send wave of gentle pleasure and pain to her naughty bits. If you choose clamps with a chain, give them a gentle tug while you are going down on her. Be sure to take them off as she starts to climax for a full body sensation she will not forget.
Additional note: Nipple clamps are not intended to be used for more than 10-15 minutes as they are putting pressure on the nerves and vessels of the delicate tissue. Prolonged use can damage this tissue.
Men are not the only ones that experience arousal in their sleep. An increase in blood flow to the vagina occurs while women are in a REM sleep cycle. This causes the vagina to be engorged, primed and ready for you. What I’m saying is – if she’s down for it, don’t hesitate to wake her up in the middle of the night for sex. If you start massaging, kissing and caressing her, she’s bound to wake up and want to pounce on you thanks to all the stimulation happening down low.
Want easier access? Tell her about the recent health studies that indicate it’s critical for vaginal health if women let their parts “breathe” a little bit each day. Physicians are recommending women to go panty-less while they sleep to achieve this.
Who’s going to argue with Doctors orders?
There is still a lot of debate on whether or not the g-spot actually exists. Nonetheless, an estimated 30% of women claim to have located their g-spot and love using it. The g-spot is a patch of rough tissue on the top wall of the vagina. It is believed to have more nerve-endings than the clitoris and women who have experienced the g-spot O state that it is truly explosive. Even if you and your woman cannot locate the elusive g-spot, you can still enjoy a blended orgasm through vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation.
A blended orgasm is more intense and leads to greater pleasure for both of you. The best approach is to start by priming the clitoris before and during sex. Don’t be offended if she wants to lend a hand. Positions with deeper penetration are ideal for this style of orgasm.
How Do You Do It?
There are different but similar methods depending on the position. For doggie-style, have her put her face/chest/shoulders onto the bed. This helps elevate her behind and gives you an angle that allows for the deepest penetration in this position. Reach around and manually stimulate the clitoris while thrusting. Of course, your hands might be better suited pulling her hair or spanking her. In which case, let her rub her clit. You will also get to enjoy feeling her fingers slide around you while you are thrusting.
For girl-on-top positions, massage the clit with your thumbs while she is riding you. Remember that her focus really needs to be on balance and thrusting. For legs on shoulders missionary, the blended orgasm is easiest. You are able to control the thrusting and either of you can stimulate the clitoris. This position also creates a unique, deep angle for penetration that will feel good for both of you.
One Last Thing
Don’t be afraid to switch it up during sex to prevent closing the deal too quickly. In his book Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat, Michael Alvear explains that the longer sex lasts, the better it is for a woman and the more likely she is to achieve orgasm. You might even want to return to oral while you cool off before resuming your favorite positions.
Give these techniques a try and you’ll never wonder if she faking it, again.