Sex That Isn’t About the Orgasm?

img_0209We can all remember when singer Sting made that comment about his five-hour tantric sex session. If you are clueless on what I’m talking about then you are probably too young to be reading this. Shortly after the comment, his wife revealed it was a drunken joke but the concept wasn’t far-fetched considering Sting’s spiritual nature. One celebrity comment is all it took to catapult tantra into bedrooms across the world.

What is it?

Tantric sex is not really sex at all. It’s not about the common goal we all seek in sex – getting off. Instead, it is the process of connecting on a deeper level with your partner before sex. This concept is the result of Eastern meditation meeting the new age. Practitioners believe that by connecting with your lovers body you are able to heighten arousal and awareness of each other. Sexual fulfillment is achieved through a series of techniques, touching and coordinated breathing.

Seems a Little Hippy-Dippy

Yes, the idea of breathing together as one while gently touching is pretty “hippy-dippy”. If you remember, the 70s were all about LOVE and feeling groovy. Notions aside, there are some serious benefits for men and women who practice tantric sex.

  1. Get her naked under the light. Are you tired of only “seeing” your naked woman under a cover of darkness? Tantric sex is practiced in dim lighting giving both of you the opportunity to see each other. But, since you are extra close to each other, she doesn’t have to feel like you are judging her naked self.
  2. Women love foreplay. Men are more of the wham-bam-thank you ma’am types but women need to be eased into a great sexual experience. A woman’s skin is sensitive to the touch of a man – especially one she is intimately interested in. Featherlite touches across her skin can induce substantial arousal. With tantric sex, you are skin to skin. Your fingers will lightly touch and massage each other while you gaze into each other’s eyes and focus only on the sensation and connection you are feeling.
  3. Tantric sex is romantic. What are women always bugging men about? More romance! What can be more romantic that heightening the pleasure for both of you? The level of intimacy achieved through tantric sex is unlike any other sexual experience. She will notice.

How to Do It

Tantric sex takes practice. Start by sitting on a solid surface with your legs out. The bed is not the best place for this because you can easily sink in or lose your balance. Next, have your partner sit on your lap, straddling you. You do not need to be aroused at the start; that will happen naturally. Get comfortable – it’s going to be a little while!

Start with your arms resting on your sides or on the waist of your partner. Begin to exchange breaths while staring into each other’s eyes. As you exhale, she inhales. Breathing this way is a style of meditation that will help calm your nerves and quiet your mind. Your focus is on the exchange of energy between you and your partner. Maintain your gaze while slowing beginning to massage each other along the lower back and buttocks. As the arousal begins to set in, you will want to transition into slow passionate kissing. Remember to keep exchanging breathes as this is what keeps you connected. When you become fully erect, slide into her and begin to rock slowly back and forth. Again, while maintaining your breath, light massaging and passionate kissing.

Tantric sex can feel silly at first but the benefits are undeniable. It helps relax both people and allows them to feel a deeper connection with each other. Keep your focus on the sensations that you are feeling. The more you connect with them and the intimacy between you and her, the more pleasurable the experience will be. There are claims that you can ease into a slow orgasm through the rocking sensation but most practitioners utilize tantra as long, intense foreplay before moving into sex. According to Dawn Cartwright, an instructor at LA SkyDancing Tantra, this will lead to an out-of-this-world, total body orgasm.

Couples that practice tantra average 30 to 90 minutes of intimate connection before engaging in the dirty deed. While the steam for tantric sex has subsided in recent years, it is still practiced by spiritual couples. This beautiful ritual will bring you closer to your partner than you ever thought possible while relaxing you and boosting the intensity of your orgasm. For more information on tantric sex check out Art of Everyday Ecstasy by Margot Anand.

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