Kate Upton

Let’s face it. There’s not much you can say about Kate Upton that the world doesn’t already know, but it would be a crime against humanity, mostly male humanity, if we didn’t have a small homage to the world’s most talked about supermodel.

Her jiggly goodness reaches beyond mere mortal’s comprehension of sexy.

From the Carl’s Jr. Burger commercial, to her Peter Cottontail rendition (She’s definitely going to hell for that), Upton is not afraid to let her freak flag fly. She proved that immensely when she did the Cat Daddy in a few pieces of string sown together.

It’s the reckless abandon of a 21-year-old that knows she’s got what most men want, but in it all, she keeps a sense of diplomacy and mystery. She doesn’t take herself too seriously, and is just enjoying the ride. And why shouldn’t she? Upton has been on the cover of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition twice, and has graced the cover of Vogue Italia & America, and Vanity Fair.

To top it all off she was named model of the year in 2013, and has appeared in a handful of movies, commercials, and network shows.

At 21, she’s running this whole conglomerate, and is newly single. I’ve already put my bid in. I sent her the newest edition of my X-men comic book as an offering of sacrifice and devotion, along with a lock of my hair and a handwritten letter that explains why caramel and vanilla is the world’s sexiest combination. And not just with ice cream…Check and Mate.

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