Plan A for Plan B

Huzzahs all around for Plan B! The morning after pill which has previously caused controversy and enraged political debates is finally available over the counter. This is great news in the fight for Reproductive Rights, Rights for Sexy People for the Freedoms of Sexiness, and various Women’s Rights Groups. But this is sure to cause an argument and debate about selling contraception over the counter to the sexually active youth of the world. Listen here members of the Oddly Repressed Angry People of ‘Merica and other various groups against this recent ruling, would you rather have more people in this world who can get the girl or guy you’re chasing or limit those numbers and have better chances. Even the drunk at the Poker in Vegas will tell you that “Statistically Speaking, it’s just setting yourself up for winning the odds, duh,” as he falls over.

Even men around the world have to be happy about this ruling. Finally when you trick the girl that’s way to good for you to have sex with her, and you don’t use protection, and fall over and pull a hammy trying something you saw in a movie once, you don’t have to worry. Because now she can go to store and get that pill that’ll take of your mistakes for you. Now she can go back to pretending she doesn’t know you and you can earn your man points and tell you friends about your awesome sex injury! Yay, everyone wins! This is not based on true events.

The Anti-High Schoolers Getting’ Some Groups will bring up the issue that kids will be buying this over the counter. Will they? These pills cost anywhere between $10 and $70. If a 10-year old has upwards of $70 at one time, some questions should be raised as to how they got that money. Are they part of illegal child labor factory? Or are they involved in some sort of Elementary School Breaking Bad situation, selling pixie sticks for $10 a hit? If it’s their parents giving them that much money, I would like those parents to adopt me.

This is a great movement in Women’s Rights and Sex Ed. Rather than focusing on the so called evils of sex, perhaps focus on the fact that this can possibly lead some stable relationships, where if one or both people make a small error, there’s a $70 eraser that fix it. And with the Plan B pill being over the counter this is great measures to getting Sudafed back the over the counter status. Huzzahs all around!

 

Krish Mohan is a Stand Up Comedian & Writer. To find out more about Krish, check out his website and subscribe to his Youtube Channel

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