After a show a few weeks back, I was standing outside with one of the Comedians outside the Lodge, and one of the audience members came out to talk to us. He had a few interesting comments to say about the show and my set. To summarize the conversation he looked at us and said “I wasn’t a fan of the Jesus jokes and the Gayism in the show. In fact I’m getting real sick of the Gayism these days.” It made me ask the question, “What the hell is Gayism?”
This gentleman was talking about Gayism like it’s a huge movement he and only he has been seeing. As if it was some sort of homoerotic conspiracy theory. Like it’s the political party of Homosexuality that’s starting in 2013! They’re looking to change the national anthem to anything by Queen or Elton John. They run campaign ads only in yogurt shops and uppity thrift stores. Their main goal is to turn the White House is to the Fab House, the House of Representatives into the House of “Bitch Please”, but the Senate’s fine as is. They are getting ready to put their first Gay President into office by 2020. The nominees are Menudo, Ian McKellan and anyone who’s played Hamlet in the last 5 years.
Let’s be honest, it took about 30 years after the Civil Rights Movement of the 60s for the U.S. to elect a Black President, it’ll take another 50 for this country to be OK with a Gay President. Obama is only half black anyway, there wasn’t even a full commitment to a Black President. If it ever does come down to it, the country would probably be more likely to elect a Bisexual nominee to lead into a Gay or Lesbian nominee. Frankly, I’d like to see what would happen if we picked the Flamboyant Gay Man to run for President. The Gayism Guy’s head would probably explode if that happened!