Protecting Internet Privacy and the Failure of CISPA

Hot girl on computer knuckle dragger magazineLast month, the House passed a bill called CISPA (or PIPA/SOPA: The Revenge), that will allow companies like Google, Twitter & Facebook to share your information with other companies, the private sector and the government, and with civilian agencies like the Department of Homeland Security, in the event of cyber attack.

Despite a video sent by the President himself to veto the bill and talk about its threats to civil liberties and freedoms, the bill passed. That’s a bold move on the part of Rep. Rogers (R-Michigan) & Rep. Ruppersbegger (D-Maryland). The authors of the bill say that CISPA that the bill is dealing mostly with the 1’s & 0’s, meaning hacking.

If that is case then why is the private sector and businesses getting access to Individual Personal Information?  But the problem is also the vague terminology such as “threat to the integrity” and  “exposing a vulnerability”, they use in the bill. They can share your personal information if they feel like you’ve crossed them on them on those unclear, cloudy terms.

This bill creates more leeway for organizations like the DHS & NSA to collect more information about the American people and makes us more transparent and takes privacy out back and shoots it in the face. With the bill passing through the House floor, it will now move into the mostly Democratic controlled Senate floor for votes.

Last year this bill was introduced as SOPA & PIPA, but the authors of CISPA say it’s different. Last year the bill was vetoed because it “effectively treats domestic cyber security as an intelligence activity and thus, significantly departs from longstanding efforts to treat the Internet and cyberspace as civilian spheres.”  Meaning, that it’s easier to get access to people’s personal information (via blog or social media) if the government or the private sector doesn’t like what you are saying about them.

This has not changed in CISPA. CISPA does put more regulation on the government but not on the private sector, an issue we had last year! This is seems like Rep. Rogers (R-Michigan) & Rep. Ruppersberger (D-Maryland), the authors, are treating this bill like a drunk that kicked out of his bar and tries come back in with funny hats! You’re not fooling anyone, pal, we know who it is. The problem wasn’t the hats, it’s that you took your junk in the bar and tried to measure it using a shot glass.

The point being some things are meant to be private, like people’s private information, drunk people’s junk. Internet Freedom is the pants of Society, I think…I’m not really sure where that metaphor really meant, but in either case, CISPA and Drunk people’s Junk are not welcome. There is a positive to this, we can use this bill to track down anyone who leaves a snarky YouTube comment and expose who they are and where their mom’s basement is located and declare your vengeance for not liking your cat video!

Since CISPA is so broad and has little definition of what the restrictions are or even where the government can take the information it gains access to, it creates a failure in individuals’ privacy and stifles free speech. If they’d want to they can even steal your identity and become you! This will create some strange dystopian future for all of us, where we don’t do anything on the Internet and fear reigns supreme.

We’ll start an underground movement of journalers and diary writers that tell us what is happening with the world, passing these books like drugs. Eventually due to the lack of Internet porn and frustrated activists, chaos will reign in anti-CISPA movements and guerilla warfares. Eventually things will get so bad that we will be in the same world as the book/movie, The Road! Or it could be a little be less creepy and just turn out like 1984 or V for Vendetta.

If you look at who wrote the bill, Rep. Rogers & Rep. Ruppersberger, they look like the 2 guys who kept saying the Internet was a fad for the last 10 years. They probably all the 30-something Representatives laugh at them and throw pudding in their face. So CISPA isn’t really about Government Security either, it’s really about these old men to prove to House Bullies that they were right and the Internet was a Fad and if this bill doesn’t pass, we’ll live the world of the Matrix.

Let’s be fair, who doesn’t want to live the world of the Matrix? If Keanu did it then we all can. So if you care about your privacy on the Internet, your freedoms, or hated the movie the Road or loved the Matrix, say “Hell No” to CISPA, and “Hell Yes” to Internet Freedoms & Privacy. No means No, Representatives!


Krish Mohan is a Stand Up Comedian & Writer. To find out more about Krish, check out his website and subscribe to his Youtube Channel

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