Ten Worthwhile New Year’s Resolutions

gymThere are tons of New Year’s Resolutions out there that will most likely never come true. Number one on that list is losing 80 lbs. as you continue to eat corn curls and do cardio while shopping for candy.

That clothing rack you call a stair master is not going to fire up any time soon, so let us help you make a New Year’s resolution that you can stick to.

  1.  Slap The Bad Parker: There’s always the guy who has a sense of entitlement to twice the parking space that the rest of us mere mortals are allotted. We suggest you walk up to this guy, and politely slap him in the face with a glove and challenge him to a duel. We cannot be responsible if said person is a retired fighter, former marine, or any other type of tough motha that will completely eff up your week.
  2. Test Drive a car every month: This should be a pretty easy feat, and you’ll have some fun doing it. Head out to a local dealer, play the game and test drive one of their most bad ass cars. Then repeat.
  3. Finish some type of food challenge at a bar or restaurant.
  4. Throw a water balloon at a stranger and then give them a dollar.
  5. Dress up Spider-Man for a whole day (Not on Halloween).
  6. When your girlfriend or wife comes home, have on a pair of her boyshorts and workboots, while you’re playing video games. Act natural.
  7. Do a donut either n the snow or a parking lot.
  8. Play a sport you’ve never tried before: One condition, you must wear party socks and shorts no matter what the sport is.
  9. Try to have a conference call at a movie theater.
  10. Flashmob with just yourself in a mall. Bring a boombox and Preferably be with your girlfriend for maximum humiliation.
  11. BONUS! Get yourself all greased up and take boudoir photos for your girlfriend or wife. She’ll be frightened for years to come. Oh the Timeless Art of Seduction.

Featured Articles

“Gym Wildlife” Video Makes Every Gym Goer Look Like an Asshole…And It’s 100% Correct.

Something happened the other day. YouTube production team, “Buff Dudes”, made a parody video of what about gym culture, and it complete wrecks every person that has been to the gym. Obviously discounting old people who talk most of the time and fall asleep mid rep. They’ve also left out the all important mom demographic, […]

10 Hours Driving Around NYC with an Exotic Car [Graphic Content]

Some people disgust me. I mean a guy can’t even take his 300k supercar around without being harassed and asked to take pictures. The paint was repeatedly touched, and people yelled out comments as he was sitting at stop lights and parking lots. If you don’t like exotic car harassment, this isn’t the video for […]

Girl in Bikini gets Humped by Dolphin. She liked it.

The internet provides us with a multitude of entertaining viewing options. 24-7. From porn to squirrels juggling knives, the world is your oyster, you web-surfing champion. http://www.whateverthefugyouwannasee.org Well, today we have a dolphin humping a busty blonde. Barbie, who clearly lives up to her name, is on vacation and at one of those fancy dolphin […]

Hot Nurse Gives Free Testicle Exams on The Street [Video]

So, this happened on the internet. In an effort to promote awareness for testicular cancer, a hot young malady in a more hot nurses outfit offered to give men free testicle examinations. At first, guys were a little hesitant, but then they realized, there’s an attractive woman willing to look for change in their coin […]

Cooking with Coolio

Coolio, rapper extraordinaire is about to take you on a fantasy voyage through the gangsta’s paradise of culinary excellence with his new cookbook. Not only can Coolio tear up the sound waves, he can bring some ghetto-fabulous flavor to your dull suburban kitchen. This ain’t no Emeril Lagasse or Rachel Ray, Coolio is about to […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: