Survive “Frankenstorm” with some Tactical Bacon!

Never run out of bacon again $19.95 msrp

There’s a lot of things in life you can’t live without. Family, money, love, and there’s one other thing missing there, BACON! Can you imagine a world without bacon? Neither can I.

So, when I came across Tactical Bacon, it seemed like my prayers had been answered. From “Frankenstorms”,  Zombie Apocalypses, to complete nuclear fallout, rest assured the last few minutes of your life you’ll be guaranteed to have at least one of those fours things listed above by your side, bacon.

With a shelf life of over 10 years, Tactical Bacon will be there for you through thick and thin. The bacon is actual stripped pieces of the filthy swine we came to love so much. There’s approximately 54 pieces of cooked bacon in each 9 oz. can, and be used while camping, hunting, fishing, and/or the end of the world.

Where can you buy Tactical Bacon locally? I was able to get my stockpile Tactical Bacon at Anthony’s Arms in West Mifflin, across from the Allegheny County Airport. Not sure how much is left after I cleaned them out preparing for “Frankenstorm” moving up the East Coast, but you’re more than welcome to stop by and check.

Dear Primantis, please buy several cases of Tactical Bacon, so you can stop running out of bacon every night. It would make a lot of drunk people and my vertically challenged friend Brian, so much more happier…

The Ultimate Tactical Bacon Commercial:

Featured Articles

“Gym Wildlife” Video Makes Every Gym Goer Look Like an Asshole…And It’s 100% Correct.

Something happened the other day. YouTube production team, “Buff Dudes”, made a parody video of what about gym culture, and it complete wrecks every person that has been to the gym. Obviously discounting old people who talk most of the time and fall asleep mid rep. They’ve also left out the all important mom demographic, […]

10 Hours Driving Around NYC with an Exotic Car [Graphic Content]

Some people disgust me. I mean a guy can’t even take his 300k supercar around without being harassed and asked to take pictures. The paint was repeatedly touched, and people yelled out comments as he was sitting at stop lights and parking lots. If you don’t like exotic car harassment, this isn’t the video for […]

Girl in Bikini gets Humped by Dolphin. She liked it.

The internet provides us with a multitude of entertaining viewing options. 24-7. From porn to squirrels juggling knives, the world is your oyster, you web-surfing champion. http://www.whateverthefugyouwannasee.org Well, today we have a dolphin humping a busty blonde. Barbie, who clearly lives up to her name, is on vacation and at one of those fancy dolphin […]

Hot Nurse Gives Free Testicle Exams on The Street [Video]

So, this happened on the internet. In an effort to promote awareness for testicular cancer, a hot young malady in a more hot nurses outfit offered to give men free testicle examinations. At first, guys were a little hesitant, but then they realized, there’s an attractive woman willing to look for change in their coin […]

Cooking with Coolio

Coolio, rapper extraordinaire is about to take you on a fantasy voyage through the gangsta’s paradise of culinary excellence with his new cookbook. Not only can Coolio tear up the sound waves, he can bring some ghetto-fabulous flavor to your dull suburban kitchen. This ain’t no Emeril Lagasse or Rachel Ray, Coolio is about to […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: