Five Things Not to Say at a Bar

Guys can say alot of dumb things. Well we’re here to put the pin back in the grenade that is your speech. Slightly slurred, and a little gamey, from all the I.C. Light. With these nuggets of truth, we might not only introduce you to your future ex-girlfriend, but we also might spare the female population from a generation of men lacking in the timeless are of seduction. Where’s George Costanza when you need him.

Five Things…Not to Say

  1. You look like you’re _____years old. Unless it’s 22,  don’t say anything. Actually, just stay away from age all together.
  2. I live with my parents (unless your parents are a billions years old and you’re taking care of them, or you just got back from the Galapagos islands swimming with the turtles and when you came back your house was burned to the ground by an Asian death squad trying to kill you for exposing their terror ring)  this is not an acceptable answer…
  3. My Ex Girlfriend…Yeah, great opener Liberace
  4. I own a _________Business (She’s not impressed if you own anything. If you were anyone of actual wealth or power, you would probably not be at Jacks trying to impress here with your landscaping conglomerate…1 guy, a weed whacker, and craftsman lawnmower does not put you on Forbes most powerful list…At least the last time I checked.
  5. Are your boobs homegrown or store bought. (Again, Fail)

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